The Taken One

Okay so there is a man I know. A man who I am very attracted to and I would love him to be mine... however I'm pretty sure this is because he can't be. He has a girlfriend and a young daughter and he has never once suggested he would leave them to be with me. I wouldn't ask for that anyway? or would I? Surely when it comes to love you have to fight for it? Fight for what you want and put number one first? Do other people think about my feelings when they do something? More often than not no they don't!

So as usual he's having a 'rough patch' with his girlfriend and needs some laughs and excitement... that's where I come in. The man pays £45 for a hotel room just to have a shower after work and look nice for his meeting with me. That's love right? I'm all confused so the best idea (or worst) is for me to turn to the wine. A bottle of Hardy's Rose and i'm calm. I don't feel like a hooker any more. Well I kind of do but that's not the hotel room or the practically married man, that's because less than four hours previous to this meeting I had been diagnosed with Scabies. Fucking Scabies. It's the most degrading and embarassing infection I could have... it's crabs... ON MY SKIN. Anyway not only this but I was wearing a night shirt in the pub. Thanks to my mother for another hand me down, maybe next time she could specify the cute checkered shirt is a nightdress and the tatty pocket isn't some kind of designer unique creation... it had infact burnt off in the tumble dryer.

So after nearly a full bottle of wine I went back to the hotel room for some privacy and for a more private chat with the man. Turns out he didn't book the room for any other purpose than to chat and catch up. Hmmm. So i'm in a reasonably posh hotel room, a few wines on board with a man who I find majorly attracted... especially as I can't have him.

What to do?

Put myself first or think about others?

Will this end in marriage and happilly ever after?

Ah, fuck it, I've always been a bit selfish.

Now he has scabies.